In week three of this series, let’s explore the second of the 7 C’s, “congruence.”
Another of the individual values in the social change model, congruence means “thinking, feeling, and behaving with consistency, genuineness, authenticity and honesty towards others.”
Congruence isn’t a word you hear very often in everyday language, so perhaps it’s easier to explain by thinking about a word you do hear frequently that is, in many ways, its opposite—hypocrisy. Whereas hypocrites are people who do things that contradict what they say, or say things that contradict what they believe, congruent people are those who act and speak consistently with their beliefs. They are honest and transparent.
It is much easier to be congruent if you develop the consciousness of self we learned about last week so you are clear about your beliefs and values. It is hard to act according to your values if you haven’t thought about what those are.
If you have ever regretted something you said or did, you likely weren’t acting with congruence. This can also include a lack of action, such as avoiding speaking up in certain situations because you don’t want to go against the crowd. Sometimes it takes courage to say or do something that’s unpopular, but if it’s something you believe in, it’s often worth the risk.
Just remember: others don’t always share the same values and beliefs you do (or perhaps they just prioritize them in a different way), so be willing to share your thoughts and then listen to what others have to say with an open mind. Sharing a different viewpoint in a respectful manner can create helpful discussion around a problem to come up with the best possible solution for all people involved.
Tip of the Week
Journal about your thoughts and actions to reflect on if you are being congruent. Recognizing a lack of congruence is the first step to addressing it and changing your behavior to act in accordance with your values.